Feelings and adaptation - Affiliation, personality and realtionships

Some people have difficulty tolerating and expressing their own feelings. To some, the situation of not being understood in difficult moments can make this happen. Hiding their feelings is a solution for them to protect these from being rejected again.
RUNNING AWAY FROM FEELINGS

 One of the biggest features of mental illenesses is the avoiding technique. They can for example get an anguish reaction, from the fear of what others might think of them in a social context, which makes is difficult to notice the positive signals. One can be so scared of being evaluated by somebody that they avoid situations where they risk meeting people. Feelings give signals of danger when there is no actual danger.

 Mindfulness is one of various methods where getting to know and understand one's own feelings, thoughts and corporal reactions in a new way is the main goal. 

 One has to listen to his inside in an accepting maner contrarly to the fact of controlling, denying and avoiding what they feel. 
AFFILIATION, PERSONALITY AND RELATIONS

 Affiliation

 The way we see ourselves is created by the relationships we have with others. Thanks to evolution, we have evolved to be social since the very first day in our life, with a brain that is very sensitive and focused on what others think of us or feel for us. This is essential in order for us to feel we have value, we belong to something and we have our place on this earth. 

 To the majority, being self secure comes from having a secure relationship with their parents. Starting from early life relationships we receive an impression of who we are, which value we have as a human being and how we have to relate to others to survive.

 When we are born, we have a strong need to feel proximity and asociate with other human beings. This basic need is covered when we feel that we are noticed, seen, heard and understood. 

Comentarios

Publicar un comentario

Entradas populares de este blog

Self esteem, vulnerability and shame

Vulnerability  An individualist society that is based in performance, where everyone is responsible for their own succes tells us that if we're not good enough, unique and perfect, we failed. In a country like Norway, everything is available to have success and if someone doesn't do their best or use their potential to the maximum, then they are to blame. This is why one falls so deeply and their failing has to be lived alone or hidden. The result can be self contempt. One becomes isolated, feels different and lonely. That's why it's believed that when people, espcially young people have persistent agitations, exhaustion and depressive moods, they are having normal reactions to abnormal requirements. The difference between self-confidence & self esteem Self confidence is about who you are, what you are and what you achieved meanwhile self esteem is about who you are indepentently of exterior factors.  Self-esteem is a lasting vision of one's self worth, ...
Leer más

AVOIDING THE FEELING OF SHAME : THE CONSEQUENCES

Being vulnerable makes us feel things like fear and lack of security but also happiness and love. We can't cover the bad feelings without covering the good feelings too.  When specific feelings are avoided, the way to loneliness and depression is short. For some people pessimism becomes a lifestyle because it feels easier living in a deception instead of a rejection. One feels it's very risked having hope in something and expectations when one is scared to be hurt. Thoughts like I dont want to ask if I can go, it will for sure be very boring anyway  is a way of surviving. In reality, one could really want to go but the fear of hearing a no  prevents them from doing so/trying so. 
Leer más

Self-care

Self care is a way of accepting one's self, a way of recognising the fact that one is valuable and that life can sometimes be brutal and incomprehensible. It's the opposite of the shame. Shame cannot survive if we have self-care towards ourselves. It's about a desire to relieve one's own suffering and it's therefore a motivating power for growth and change.  Even though most of us are worried about being nice to other people, we tend to be more harsh and critical towards ourselves. We simply have to realise that we are not perfect and  recognise our mistakes and learn from them, to have a friendly relationship with our weaknesses and wrongs, and take the initiative to make necessary changes in our life to feel better. When one doesn't blame themself for failing, one recognises more easily their mistakes and dares to take new challenges. This protects from excessive thinking, anger and isolation and gives a higher happiness degree, optimism and positive feeli...
Leer más