Reflection and self image

Our meetings we other human beings leave deep marks in us. When we are received as we would want to be received, loved without having to prove ourselves or do something to deserve it, we can dare to move along in the world just as we are without having to demonstrate anything. 

In cases of criticism or rejection, the majority will have a defensive reaction or need to reject in return or criticize in return. Our capacity to stay calm and think in a positive way about other people's intentions determins if we react with shame or not.

Rejection gets added to our subconscious and unleashes with other persons later in life. ''The alarm gets off even if there isn't any fire.'' When one is sensitive to getting rejected, rejecting first can seem safer, this way the risk of being rejected is reduced.

MENTALIZATION AND RELATIONSHIPS

Mentalization is about understanding one's own and other people's feelings and thoughts as well as their motives and reasons to act. Also having an understanding towards how one is seen by other people. 

The capacity of reading social interactions develops during relationships, experiences we have with others during growth. Relationships can prevent and they can create. If one grows up with careless parents that do not understand them or that are agressive, one could be confused towards what a normal reaction is.

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